Yoga Will Save the World is here with cheeky and playful dating profiles for yoga poses with fun inspired illustrations
Introducing: Royally Reversed Triangle
Age: I was received at the Royal Court the same year as Walter Raleigh brought the potato for the Queen’s fancy. Initially I was overlooked when they realised you could make chips but I soon commanded their attention.
From: I am a descendant from the ancient Indian Royal Family the Mushika’s. I followed Maharaja Mountain Pose here after a summer fling. He was a dog and ran of with that concubine Empress Eagle Pose from the Imperial House of Japan- but I have never looked back.
About me: Courtesans! Court Jesters! Panther (v.important bread makers)! Queen Victoria! I have worked wonders with all their inner thighs. Queen Vic could straddle a pummel horse like an Olympian chasing the Russians for Gold during the Cold War.
Would like to meet: I have been helping the Royal Family bend over for centuries now. They do it for the love of their Country. Regal Forward Bend I would love your help. Interested?
Recent Crush: I had quite a turn when the French came to stay during the Revolution. Le Comte de Spinal Twist gave me a flash of the Crown Jewels during our practice. Vive le France!
Looking for: Getting Wills and Kate flexed, focused and off the Gin so they are ready for their Big Day has kept me dead busy. But I’m back in the Hunt. All you blue-blooded poses out there get in touch with my Yoga-in-Waiting.
Ideal match: I’ve kissed far too many poses in search of my prince. Right now I’m looking for someone to Love Me! Love my Lady Di tea towel collection!
Turn-Ons: http://www.royalyogahotties.com. No inherited genetic virus’ will be caught if you click the link.
Turn-Offs: Henry Eighth in a Squat Pose. He was a regal wrong-un!
Ideal First Date: Triangle Twists alongside Traitors Gate, Warriors at Westminster, Bows at Big Ben and a bunk up at Buckingham Palace afterwards.
Best Friend: Blackadder. When he was in the royal entourage and he passed on valuable family planning advice: “Such activities are beyond my mother. My father only got anywhere near her because he told her it was a cure for diarrhoea.” He is such a romantic.
Favourite Song: God Save the Queen- Sexpistols (sssh! Don’t tell Liz it’s that version)
This time next year I will be dreaming of the time Courtesan Cat Pose and I had Bonnie Prince Charlie in a Pelvic Tilt.
Namaste, yoga will save the world