Yoga at Danyfan, Brecon, Wales

I have just come back from teaching yoga at Emma, Stevie and new addition baby Rosie’s, beautiful B&B in Brecon.

Mornings were all about yoga in the sunny conservatory and Emma’s delicious post yoga brownies. Afternoons were filled with Gemma and Katie marathon training along the canals, coach Shelly biking along side providing them with gels, waters and stories and Ross and myself attempting to run up to Penyfan where the views are astounding and snow fell.

One afternoon Stevie gave us a baking class. With Stevie’s patience and wizardry bakery skills we learnt how to make sourdough, pizza bases, focaccia, buns, loaves and flowerpot granary buns. We fell into bed that night in happy bread comas.

Evenings were spent in front of the fire eating Stevie and Emma’s beautiful meals, enjoying a glass of wine or the local G&T and then getting competitive with rounds of bananagrams. 

Late summer dates will be up for grabs soon.

Rebsx

Image

Image

Image

Yoga in My Tutu

Here is Jessica, Shelly’s niece, doing yoga in her Tutu.

She likes piggy backs, dancing with her twin sister Grace, and Fab Ice-Lollies. She has been playing yoga since she was 2 and 3 quarters and rolling herself up in her aunties yoga mat.

 

They Call Me Cheeky Chaturanga: Royally Reversed Triangle

Yoga Will Save the World is here with cheeky and playful dating profiles for yoga poses with fun inspired illustrations

Introducing: Royally Reversed Triangle

Age: I was received at the Royal Court the same year as Walter Raleigh brought the potato for the Queen’s fancy. Initially I was overlooked when they realised you could make chips but I soon commanded their attention.

From: I am a descendant from the ancient Indian Royal Family the Mushika’s. I followed Maharaja Mountain Pose here after a summer fling. He was a dog and ran of with that concubine Empress Eagle Pose from the Imperial House of Japan- but I have never looked back.

About me: Courtesans! Court Jesters! Panther (v.important bread makers)! Queen Victoria! I have worked wonders with all their inner thighs. Queen Vic could straddle a pummel horse like an Olympian chasing the Russians for Gold during the Cold War.

Would like to meet: I have been helping the Royal Family bend over for centuries now. They do it for the love of their Country. Regal Forward Bend I would love your help. Interested?

Recent Crush: I had quite a turn when the French came to stay during the Revolution. Le Comte de Spinal Twist gave me a flash of the Crown Jewels during our practice. Vive le France!

Looking for: Getting Wills and Kate flexed, focused and off the Gin so they are ready for their Big Day has kept me dead busy. But I’m back in the Hunt. All you blue-blooded poses out there get in touch with my Yoga-in-Waiting.

Ideal match: I’ve kissed far too many poses in search of my prince. Right now I’m looking for someone to Love Me! Love my Lady Di tea towel collection!

Turn-Ons: http://www.royalyogahotties.com. No inherited genetic virus’ will be caught if you click the link.

Turn-Offs: Henry Eighth in a Squat Pose. He was a regal wrong-un!

Ideal First Date: Triangle Twists alongside Traitors Gate, Warriors at Westminster, Bows at Big Ben and a bunk up at Buckingham Palace afterwards.

Best Friend: Blackadder. When he was in the royal entourage and he passed on valuable family planning advice: “Such activities are beyond my mother. My father only got anywhere near her because he told her it was a cure for diarrhoea.” He is such a romantic.

Favourite Song: God Save the Queen- Sexpistols (sssh! Don’t tell Liz it’s that version)

This time next year I will be dreaming of the time Courtesan Cat Pose and I had Bonnie Prince Charlie in a Pelvic Tilt.

Namaste, yoga will save the world

They Call Me Cheeky Chaturanga: Macho Standing Split

Yoga Will Save the World is here with cheeky and playful dating profiles for yoga poses with fun inspired illustrations

Introducing: Macho Standing Split

Age: A very handsome and virile ancient.

From:  The beautiful Italia. In my time I have been fiddled with by Sophie Loren in the captivating olives groves of Florence; Michelangelo took strength from me when he had Painters Elbow in the dazzling Sistine Chapel, and during the filming of  ‘Up Pompeii’, in the shadows of Mount Vesuvius, Frankie Howard found stimulation in many of my forward bends.

About me: Well Hung -from the hips, of course!

Would like to meet:  At first you might think I am arrogant and narcissistic but scratch below the surface and you will find a truly great pose! Better than Elvis in a Hip-Opener or Gandhi in a Lotus. You will never be a truly worthy partner according to my mamma but try anyway.

Ideal match:  Passionate Peacock. I love a pose who throws themselves into their yoga practice with enviable abandon, who oozes style and who bears a striking resemblance to a voluptuous Botticelli painting.

Looking for:  Wonderful Warrior – Once was wonderful. Twice was terrific. But a third date? That is damned crazy. I am serial romantic looking for a short lived yet life fulfilling relationship.

Turn-ones:  I love Vespas’. And espresso. And A.C.Milan.  And emerging Italian Feminist Discourse.

Turn-offs: Feminism

Ideal First date: Why say it with flowers when you can say it with a good old fashioned pelvic thrust.

Best friend: Noi non potemo avere perfetta vita senza amici – We cannot have a perfect life without friends. Dante whispered that when he came round to borrow a half bottle of Cinzano and some Mozzarella balls.

Recent Crush: Sexy Savasana, If I wear a Fedora and a pair of Spats will be you call me The Godfather? Just asking.

Favourite song:  So Macho – Sinitta

This time next year I shall be happily married. My wife – not so much.

Namaste, yoga will save the world

They Call Me Cheeky Chaturanga: Lucky Lotus

Yoga Will Save the World is here with cheeky and playful dating profiles for yoga poses with fun inspired illustrations

Introducing – Lucky Lotus

Age:  I have the hips of a 21 year addicted to cod liver oil and I have always likened myself to a young Buddha, except I have better hair and am a little naughty.

From: To visit where I am from would mean a wonderful return to the Yangtze River in China. Amongst the ancient water towns, the imperial gardens, the beautifully crafted pagodas and the bustling city of Shanghai I was practiced up and down the river until it was time to pack up the picnic and share the love.

About me: In my time I have been referred to as the ultimate hip opener! I am a classic pose and in Buddhism the lotus flower symbolizes faithfulness. I am always faithful apart from the time when Foxy Firefly and I had a bit of fling at a charity yoga class in Panda City.  To be honest, it was over before I could uncross my legs.

Would like to meet:   Precious Peacock and her slightly racy sister Low Lunge.

Ideal match:  The magnetic  and bewitching Goddess Kurukalla also known as Red Tara. Her mantra is believed, if repeated, ten thousand times, to bring about all of one’s desires.  I am on number 45 as I got distracted by Jamie Oliver’s 30 Minute Dinners.  Om Kurukulle hri svaha! That is number 46! It could be a long wait!

Looking for:  Some poses can only be loved from a distance. Not me! I would love to be smothered by the Fortunate Forward Bend or the Prosperous Plough.

Turn-ons:  Making your own luck – You can depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.

Turn-offs:  Sitting with a Magic Pearl Qiong between my thighs.

Ideal First date: Join me amongst the stunning stones carving and ancient trees at the Lingering Gardens in Shanghai for some exquisite hip opening: We shall create our own nirvana and have dumplings afterwards.

Best friend:  As Confucius once told me when we were on the swings in the park (the big one, near Tescos) “In the end there are three things that last: faith, hope and love; and the greatest of these is love. He also said that that were three things that do not last and they are IKEA Furniture, underwear from Primark and a tenner on the London Underground.

Recent Crush: Pssst Auspicious Anantasana. Write! We’ll go out, you’ll love it!

Favourite song:  “I should be so lucky” – Kylie

This time next year I will have run away to the Chinese State Circus with the Year of the Rabbit

Namaste, yoga will save the world

They Call Me Cheeky Chaturanga: Poetic Peacock

Yoga Will Save the World is here with cheeky and playful dating profiles for yoga poses with fun inspired illustrations

 

Introducing – Poetic Peacock

Age:  How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?

From: I am from Thrissur in India and we host the most colorful temple festival in the world with grand processions of gold adorned elephants ridden by priests carrying bright  multi-coloured silk parasols and peacock feathers.  Our Vadakkunathan Temple hosts a bit of an all-nighter with some serious dancing and a blaze of fireworks to end the evening. Visit ticketmaster.com for more information.

About me:  I liken my soul to Prana which fills me with vital energy and life and my underwear to be Prada which fills me with vital delight and gorgeous pants.

Would like to meet:  Handsome Headstand, don’t tell anyone, but meet me at sunrise on corner of the Achyutaraya Temple. We can spend the day posing in the morning mist amongst the forgotten shrines and deciphering mythological freezes. Then we can get chips and pea fritters.

Ideal match:  An inferno of colour erupts and the dancing bells start ringing every time I catch sight of Sexy Savasansa. They are the ying to my yang, the ping to my pong  and the sea salt with crushed black peppercorns to my sweet chilli.

Looking for: The Goddess Kerala, who through the night and into the early hours, to the sound of the drumming and cymbal rhythms, twists and spins her way through an array of poses by firelight.  Her silver anklets and charm bracelets keeping a continuous beat to the drumming and lyrical chants.

Turn-ons:  The Thar Desert by moonlight followed by a Mr Whippy 99er

Turn-offs:  Dating websites

Ideal First date:  Romantically paddling down the Ganges River in the ‘City of Light’ just before sunrise. It might whiff a little and there will be lots of hawkers selling tea towels but with some strategic dabbing of the vics-vapour rub all should be well.

Best friend:  The rumors about Mischievous Monkey and I are not quite exact. It is not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Recent Crush: Witty Warrior – No one loves you more than me. No one.

Favourite song:  Hot Legs by Rod Stewart

This time next year I will be starring in a Bollywood film at the Mumbai Metro. It is a cross between  Gandhi meets Top Gun meets London Transport.

Namaste, yoga will save the world

Peacock Postscript. If you would like to read more of the “Cheeky” dating profiles scroll back up,  glance slightly to your right and on the side bar is a link that once clicked all will appear. It is not quite like rubbing the Genie’s lamp but you never know!

They Call Me Cheeky Chaturanga: Fabulous Forward Bend

Yoga Will Save the World is here with cheeky and playful dating profiles for yoga poses with fun inspired illustrations

Age: In my opinion, age doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.

From: The Peckham Shala, and in the words of Frank Sinatra; ‘If we can make it here we can make It anywhere’

About me: Tall, fabulous, flexible, strong, handsome, yet often grossly inaccurate Forward Bend seeking a pose to join them in my amazing yoga studio at the top of Mount Everest in the Himalayas for lots of omm-ings. Pose must abandon reality and embrace a creative truth and a love of musical theatre.

Would like to meet: I would like to meet the Dashing Downward Facing Dog. No! Wait! The Mischievous Monkey. Decisive pose seeks mate.

Ideal match: I have been complimented many times about my forward bends and they always embarrass me; I always feel they haven’t said enough. Looking for a pose to share my humble life with and a passion for worcester sauce Twiglets could get you to the top of the list.

Looking for: Looking to merge the energies of my ‘ha’ (hot energy of the sun) with a poses ‘tha’ (cool energy of the moon) Understanding of thermostatic controls and central heating a bonus.

Turn-ons: Living in circles and loving in triangles

Turn-offs: Tiresome Tree pose – I wish we were better strangers.

Ideal First date: I like my dates to be gloriously spontaneous. Please fill in the attached spreadsheet on your availability, preferences and allergies. Poses replying who have not used the spreadsheets colour code properly will not be considered.

Best friend: My curious friend Cobra once gave me some good advice. He said; ‘If you love someone set them free; if they come back change the locks’ Recent

Crush: We have all made mistakes. Mine was an incident involving Mr Yoga Pose 2009 and a jam roly-poly – we should have used custard!

Favourite song:
I am what I am
I don’t want praise I don’t want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it’s noise I think it’s pretty
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not see things from a different angle
Your life is a shame
Till you can shout out I am what I am
– ‘Gloria Gaynor’

This time next year I will have run away to join the circus for capers and a serious relationship with Twinkle the Clown.

Namaste, yoga will save the world