Yoga Will Save the World is here with cheeky and playful dating profiles for yoga poses with fun inspired illustrations
Introducing – Lucky Lotus
Age: I have the hips of a 21 year addicted to cod liver oil and I have always likened myself to a young Buddha, except I have better hair and am a little naughty.
From: To visit where I am from would mean a wonderful return to the Yangtze River in China. Amongst the ancient water towns, the imperial gardens, the beautifully crafted pagodas and the bustling city of Shanghai I was practiced up and down the river until it was time to pack up the picnic and share the love.
About me: In my time I have been referred to as the ultimate hip opener! I am a classic pose and in Buddhism the lotus flower symbolizes faithfulness. I am always faithful apart from the time when Foxy Firefly and I had a bit of fling at a charity yoga class in Panda City. To be honest, it was over before I could uncross my legs.
Would like to meet: Precious Peacock and her slightly racy sister Low Lunge.
Ideal match: The magnetic and bewitching Goddess Kurukalla also known as Red Tara. Her mantra is believed, if repeated, ten thousand times, to bring about all of one’s desires. I am on number 45 as I got distracted by Jamie Oliver’s 30 Minute Dinners. Om Kurukulle hri svaha! That is number 46! It could be a long wait!
Looking for: Some poses can only be loved from a distance. Not me! I would love to be smothered by the Fortunate Forward Bend or the Prosperous Plough.
Turn-ons: Making your own luck – You can depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.
Turn-offs: Sitting with a Magic Pearl Qiong between my thighs.
Ideal First date: Join me amongst the stunning stones carving and ancient trees at the Lingering Gardens in Shanghai for some exquisite hip opening: We shall create our own nirvana and have dumplings afterwards.
Best friend: As Confucius once told me when we were on the swings in the park (the big one, near Tescos) “In the end there are three things that last: faith, hope and love; and the greatest of these is love. He also said that that were three things that do not last and they are IKEA Furniture, underwear from Primark and a tenner on the London Underground.
Recent Crush: Pssst Auspicious Anantasana. Write! We’ll go out, you’ll love it!
Favourite song: “I should be so lucky” – Kylie
This time next year I will have run away to the Chinese State Circus with the Year of the Rabbit
Namaste, yoga will save the world